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A Laugh for you Today

Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away? Only if you aim right.

Why did the pillow go see a doctor? He was feeling stuffed.

Where does a boat go when it doesn’t feel well? To the dock.

Did you hear the one about the germ? Oh good because I didn’t want to spread it around.

The cookie went to the hospital why….because he felt like he was going to crumble.

Of course, how many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because they get a student to do it.

Why do you think some nurses bring red magic markers to work with them? In case they have to draw blood of course.

And, did you know that statistically speaking, 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

PMS jokes are not funny…period!

What is the opposite of you’re out? Urine!

Be kind to nurses because remember they do choose your catheter size.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can sedate it.

All bleeding will stop….eventually.

Why did the nurse go to art school….to learn how to draw blood of course.

Don’t mess with a pediatric nurse because they have very little patients.

What about the man who fainted at the airport terminal? Must have a terminal illness.

Why did Mr. Peanut go to the hospital? Because he was a-salted.

Don’t lie to the X-ray tech – they can see right through you.

Laughter is the best medicine – except for diarrhea.

Dracula told the nurse to please call the doctor because he couldn’t stop coffin.

What did the nurse say to the rocket ship? It’s time for your booster shot.

The nurse told the patient who said they swallowed a spoon, Sit down and don’t stir.

What did the balloon say to the nurse during his checkup? I’m feeling a bit light-headed.

Who cured the invisible man? The ICU of course.

And then….what did the nurse say when asked how to tell the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer….the taste……Yuck!

Have a great day and remember to smile!